Paying Rent

When I was a child, Parents Day was a day in school when children would put up plays, dances, skits etc. for their parents who were invited as guests. It was a fun day showcasing confidence, oratory skills, expression, camaraderie, team spirit etc. Many small learnings were incorporated in the preparation and run up to Parents Day.

I was surprised to learn recently, that the fourth Sunday of July is designated as Parents day. It is supposed to complement mother’s day, father’s day, and grandparent’s day. This year it falls on July 28th.

Being raised in a society where the doctrine of ‘Mathru devo bhava, Pitru devo bhava, Acharya Devo Bhava’, is deeply engrained in our psyche I wondered why the need for a designated parents day arose. We Indians revere our parents as God. We believe that they are worthy of respect for the very fact that they gave life to us. They made endless sacrifices for us. No one can ever repay the debt of the parents.

In the West, teenage children usually leave home to make a life for themselves so perhaps they need fixed days like Mother’s day, Father’s day, Parent’s day to spend time with their parents. When parents grow old, especially when one parent passes on, the one left behind, moves to an old age home. Then perhaps the children’s coming to see them on designated days becomes more meaningful. But in a society like ours, where family is the root of our culture, do we really need these?

For people like us who look upon our children and our parents as a responsibility of a life time, every day is Parent’s day. It is true that adjustments have to be made by each member to co-exist, but the benefits of being together are many. The ideology of the family being a unit where everyone’s lives are intertwined and the underlying thread is love and care, is beautiful. FAMILY means, Father And Mother I Love You.

I recently met a college lecturer. She was very upset. She shared that one particular boy always had a few buttons of his shirt open, would be chewing gum and fiddling with his phone during her lecture. Unlike interactive sessions in school, lectures given by lecturers, in college. A lecture is a one-way stream. The lecturer speaks or disseminates knowledge on a particular topic. The follow up study depends upon the students.

Well, coming back to the lady lecturer’s narrative, she said that the boy’s expressions, behaviour and clothing were very distasteful and distracting. Many a time she had asked him to behave himself but he always gave her the, ‘I couldn’t care less’ look. Today, she was really angry and said to him, “Dial your father’s phone. I want to speak to him.” Without batting an eyelid, the boy did just that and just as the father said, “Hello,” he passed the phone to the lecturer. She complained vehemently. The father said in a choked voice, “Madam he does not listen to us. If you can make him understand we would be happy. Otherwise please go ahead and get him expelled from the college. We have given up on him!”
As she narrated this to me, I was stunned into silence. Is this a sample of the younger generation? The parents and the teachers were helpless in the face of arrogance and disrespect. How sad!

A child’s character must be infused with basic human values right from babyhood. Are we as parents not giving the right values to our children? Is our education system and our home environment lacking somewhere? Sri Sathya Sai Baba says, "The end of education is character." Let’s look into what we have done wrong. Why should any offspring be the cause of tears in the eyes of parents? Everyone should pay-rent to their parents. Pay the rent of Respect, Empathy, Niceness and Time. It’s the least one can do.

This piece has been published in the Daily World on July 29, 2024. It can be viewed here https://epaper.dailyworld.in/Details.aspx?id=142388&boxid=77997&uid=&dat=2024-07-29